Top 5 Reasons I Hate and Love the Internet

5. People posting videos of their reactions.  I’m not talking about video commentaries here.  I’m talking about the videos that are nothing more than the poster’s facial reactions while they watch some other video.  This usually does not even include the video of what they are watching in a smaller screen or anything decent like that.  I have two problems with this.  One, nobody really cares what sort of weird faces you made or how you squirmed in your seat when thing A happened.  Two, it’s really annoying when I’m looking for a specific video clip and all I can find are videos of people reacting to the video I’m searching for.

4. Cat macros.  How could I possibly hate pictures of little kitties?  Because people think it is now acceptable to talk to me like this to my face.  It’s not cute.  I don’t like having to translate macros while trying to have a serious conversation.  And if you ask me “Can I HAZ Chezburger nao plz?”, trust me, you’re not going to get it.

3. The world feels a lot smaller.  Anyone in the world can see this blog.  Which is really awesome.  But Australia in particular no longer feels like it’s on the opposite side of the world.  Which is where I want it to be.  Australians are awesome, but your native flora and fauna have a singular mission to kill humanity.  My biggest fear is honestly the Australian outback.  Much as I would like to visit you someday, I’m afraid some of those poisonous critters you have are going to sneak into your cities and kill me in my sleep.  There is, in fact, only one person in the world who would ever be able to get me to go to Australia.  Sadly, it will never happen, so facing my biggest fear is not going to be one of the 101 things to do before I die.

2. Internet porn.  Seriously, there is nothing here to love.  It’s annoying when you’re trying to find something else, click on a seemingly innocent link, and then there’s penis in your face.  My first exposure to porn was when I was ten.  Looking for Pokemon.  And instead I got naked old men all over my screen.  Then there’s the fact that you cannot guarantee that amateur porn on the internet does not have someone you know in it.  Could you imagine seeing your boss in a porno, then going to work the next day and pretending that you don’t know what his penis looks like?  If that ever happened to me, I’d have to quit my job.  And then there’s the viruses that come along with it, that sometimes mean you have to wipe your entire harddrive, thank you very much to someone who used my computer for such nefarious purposes the day after I bought it.

1. Celebrities on twitter.  People ask them the dumbest questions.  It makes me feel embarrassed for the rest of humanity with some of the stupid comments that are made to celebrities.  Is it really that hard to remember that they are people and not your personal little puppets to dance for your enjoyment?  The next time someone wants to ask a celebrity a stupid question on twitter, they need to ask themselves how they would feel if a complete stranger asked them that question.  If you wouldn’t want to answer it, don’t ask the question.  Keep your fannish speculations to yourself and use your imagination for a change.

5. People posting videos.  Outside of reaction videos, videos on the internet are awesome.  Especially music videos and clips of episodes.  Quite frankly, since I don’t have HBO, the internet is the only way I would have been able to see the Renly/Loras scene from last week’s episode of Game of Thrones.  And I get really impatient waiting for the DVDs to come out, since they seem to be waiting longer and longer to release them.  And without the internet, I never would have watched Spartacus: Vengeance when I did, and then I would have been missing out on the pure awesomeness that is Nagron.

4. Cat macros.  Yes, I know I said I hated them above.  But they’re cute little pictures of kittens!  Doing adorable things!  Quite frankly, the world needs more pictures of adorable little kittens.  In fact, I’m thinking about making some macros with pictures of my cats.

3. The world feels a lot smaller.  I can talk to anyone I want to, anywhere in the world.  Need some Italian help in that book I’m working on?  All I have to do is find someone online from Italy and see if they are willing to help me.  If there’s a particular book I need that’s only available in another country, international ebay becomes my best friend.  In a way, it brings us all closer together, because on the internet, we’re all just little pieces of data we choose to share with each other.

2. Video game video walkthroughs.  Sure, the printed walkthroughs are good and all, but it’s so much better when you can actually see what you’re supposed to be doing.  I wouldn’t be surprised if these eventually pushed out the printed walkthrough.  Then again, if you watch too much of the walkthrough, what’s the point of playing the game yourself?

1. Celebrities on twitter.  What Supernatural fan didn’t get a kick out of Misha Collins live tweeting on “The French Mistake” last year?  Classic.  And really, who doesn’t want to have a good chat with their favorite celebrity?  It gives you this false sense of knowing who they are, even though all you’re really meeting is their representative.  You can actually pretend like you’re interacting with them for a split second and imagine that just for one moment, they know who you are.

So, what do you hate or love about the internet?


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