Supernatural: Dick Got Boned

The process of evolution is under way, it’s the “Survival of the Fittest”, also known as the Season 7 finale of Supernatural.  Sam and Dean finally have a way to stop the Leviathans and Dick once and for all, but while they’re still putting together the pieces, Dick tries to make his own deal with Crowley.  And while poor Castiel wants nothing more than to stay out of the fight, it turns out that the Wincesters need him, Meg and Kevin if they want to succeed.
As far as season finales of this show go, this one is better than 6 but still falls way behind all the others.  I, for one, am not entirely sad that Sera Gamble is going to be leaving the show next year.  While I have no doubt that she did her best with what was given to her at the end of season 5, and while she has skill as an individual episode writer, I’ve always found her overarching storylines to be a bit weak.  This season was not as much of a mess as Season 6 was, but, ultimately, it was still a mess.

For instance, Bobby.  I don’t know how I can make my feelings any more clear on Bobby than I already have.  His final farewell paled in comparison to “Death’s Door” and was, quite frankly, an embarrassment to the entire writing staff.  Bit of life advice: if you do something right the first time, don’t muck it up by doing a reset and trying to do it again.  Not to mention, bringing Bobby back for the limited capacity he was in did nothing to enhance the story.  I know several fans cried over his second death, but I was mostly just pissed that the show decided to dishonor the character by forcing him into a second death in the first place.

Then there’s the Leviathan master plan.  I’ve touched earlier on how the corn syrup plot was poorly thought out, but then I was once again rejected from their master plan.  I mean, it’s bad enough they can’t turn me into a zombie, but I don’t even fit into their qualifications for genetic genocide.  So what are they going to do with me?  Eat me as a I scream?  I can’t help but think they were trying to do something deep about America’s reliance on corn syrup, a fact I am all too painfully aware of, as is anyone with a corn allergy, but this is Supernatural, not CNN.  Keep with the campy fun stuff please.

Oh, and Crowley is the big bad next year.  Which means Crowley will likely die at the end of next season.  And they seem to be skipping around with what exactly Crowley is.  They keep trying to convince us he’s a demon, but then they keep dropping hints that he’s not.  Is he just a demon that wants to be something more?  Can he crunch on angels?  More importantly, why did Dick try to make a deal instead of just making himself a snack?  I mean, he obviously was worried Crowley was going to double cross him anyway, hence the body doubles, so why not get a light snack out of the deal as well?

It wasn’t all gloom and doom, however.  For instance, Crowley and Dick were in the same episode.  Not only in the same episode, they actually had a rather fantastic scene together.

This is clearly too much sexy for them to exist in the same universe for long, so it was with a heavy heart that we had to say goodbye to Dick.  I’m disappointed.  So is Crowley.

You know those actors whose voices you hear and then when you see them you cringe because the voice does not match the face and all your fantasies are ruined?  I had exactly the opposite problem with James Patrick Stuart.  His Xigbar voice drives me up a wall.  And yet I find him so pretty in Supernatural.  And I mourn the fact that we never got a Dick/Crowley kiss.  It’s not just Dick’s loss, Crowley, it’s ours as well.  Think of your loyal fans.

And then a slightly off his rocker Castiel offered Crowley some of his honey.  Which quite possibly makes this Crowley’s gayest episode, and he kissed two dudes in season 5.   What’s the matter, Crowley?  Earlier this season you wanted Castiel… or, something to that effect.  Along with all the Dick jokes this season, there’s also been a lot of homo-eroticism.

But perhaps the most important thing of all, Baby’s back to the sweet tunes of “Born to Be Wild.”  Appropriate, since Baby has the nickname of the Metallicar and “Born to Be Wild” is the song that gave heavy metal music it’s name.

At the end of the episode, Crowley is in charge, Sam is alone, and Dean is in Purgatory.  So, Dean, you have now seen all three afterlives, which one do you think you’ll pick?  Which was actually a rather awesome ending place, in spite of a largely weak episode.  Also, do angels go to Purgatory when they die as well?  Any change that we’ll be seeing Gabriel again next season?  Only October will tell.

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