True Blood Recap: Authority Always Wins

Wow, this recap is really late in coming this week.  That’s because this episode was boring.  Really boring. This episode was relatively slow compared to the season’s opener.  Actually, it was just slow in general, plodding along towards… well, nothing yet.  Which is likely the problem with having so many story lines at once: none of them go anywhere at a normal rate.  Oh, and there was no sex in this episode.  At all.  Don’t think I didn’t notice, HBO.

Sookie, Lafayette, Tara, Pam

Tara is still trying to eat Sookie and Lafayette, while Pam laughs at their problems.  Lafayette tells her to do something, prompting Pam to give us the best line of the season to date: “I am doing something, I’m laughing.”  You tell them, Pam.  She informs Tara that she is not allowed to eat those two humans and goes back to the club, leaving the Sookie and Lafayette to babysit.  Tara goes crazy around the house and eventually they chain her with silver to get her in the ground.  Props to Rutina Wesley for perching so crazy awesome on the edge of the sink.

During the daylight hours, Lafayette realizes they made a mistake by turning Tara and attempts to stake her while thinking loudly about it.  Not the best thing to do with a telepath in the house, and Sookie stops him.  By the end of the episode, Tara is talking, and she runs away from the two of them.

Pam  endures several flashbacks about her time as a human, leading up to how she met Eric.  Just a thought, but I have a feeling we’re going to be getting more of these.  We need epic flashbacks because there aren’t enough plotlines going on in the main storyline.  Also, why would we waste the precious backstory of Pam and Eric in a single episode?

Sam, Luna, Alcide

Who is running Merlotte’s?  No, seriously, because Sam hasn’t been there, nor Sookie or Lafayette or Jessica.  Does this mean Terry and Arlene run the bar now or something?  Why are none of the other employees concerned about their missing boss?  Or all the missing employees?  At any rate, Alcide refuses to be pack leader or even eat the former pack member, and Luna and Sam get in a huge fight about whether or not Emma’s paternal grandmother should have a part in her life.  Luna insists that it’s her decision, and it’s obviously a huge set-up to reveal Emma is a werewolf.  In the meantime, it does give us the world’s cutest little were-puppy.

Jason, Jessica

So, Jason sits in the police station, playing with his handcuffs, watching Steve Newlin give an interview.  He looks genuinely interested when Steve is asked if there’s someone special in his life (honestly, Jason, you want people to know that Newlin is in love with you?), but Steve disappoints by making up a story about a girl.  He also gets upset when Andy turns off the TV.  Oh, and then some kid comes in and punches him in the face for breaking up his parents by having sex with his mom.  Seriously, guys, if Jason at least doesn’t start to ponder if all his problems are caused by having sex with women, then it’s going to feel like this plotline is wobbling.  Especially since that was the reason they decided Tara needed to briefly be a lesbian, because all her problems in life were caused by men.

Steve tries to buy Jason off of Jessica for ten thousand dollars.  Jessica toys with him for a while, pretending like she’s going to take the deal, but raises him up to twenty thousand dollars.  For those keeping score, Jason’s ass is worth fifteen thousand and his penis is worth another five.  Yup, that’s how it was broken down.  Jessica swears she would never sell out her friends, tries to play the “My daddy is king” card again, only for Steve to reveal that he knows Bill is no longer king.  So now we know for certain that Steve is more involved with vampire politics than he’s letting on.

The Bellefluers

Terry keeps having flashbacks to Resident Evil 5.  He’s also not sleeping and attacking Arlene at work, who is starting to freak out about it.  I’m starting to think she forgot that he has PTSD.  Actually, I’m starting to think the show forgot about that fact (which wouldn’t surprise me, since the show seems to forget about a lot of things when it’s convenient).  I mean, she acts surprised that he’s acting this way, but with Patrick around, his symptoms would be likely to flare up.  On another note, I’m still hoping for a Djinn.  I don’t think that’s been completely ruled out yet.

Bill, Eric, Authority

Since we were going back to vampires this year, the Bill/Eric story took the most of the episode, followed closely by baby vamp Tara.  Bill and Eric are tortured, while the Authority asks them a bunch of questions that currently have no meaning to the viewers.  Ten minutes til the end of the episode, Christopher Meloni makes his appearance, and boy, was it worth the wait.  He was probably the only thing enjoyable in this episode (outside of Steve and Jessica negotiating the price of Jason’s ass).

The Wrap-Up

No sex.  Considering that’s a major selling point for the show, the absence was notable.

Alcide remains fully clothed.  It’s clearly a huge conspiracy to get people to go see Magic Mike.

Who is running Merlotte’s?  And why does no one care?  Who is signing their paychecks?

Does anybody care about Luna?  Anyone?

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