Review: Forever Werewolf: Forever Werewolf\Moon Kissed

Forever Werewolf: Forever Werewolf\Moon Kissed
Forever Werewolf: Forever Werewolf\Moon Kissed by Michele Hauf
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Michele Hauf’s latest book comes with a copy of one of her older werewolf novels. At first I wasn’t all that impressed with Forever Werewolf, but by the time I finished Moon Kissed, it made the first novel look like a masterpiece. I suppose that means she’s improved in some areas, but unfortunately there are still many areas she needs to work on.

First, we’ll cover Forever Werewolf. The premise started out slow, with about twenty pages of environment description, Trystan backstory, and world building. Trystan is a werewolf with a vampire mother and half-vampire father and is in complete denial about how genetics work as he seems to believe there is no way he could be part vampire. He also spends most of his time talking like a surfer despite the fact that he’s from Paris. He hasn’t grown up in a pack, but he knows a thing or two about them, like how the females are incredibly rare and coveted. So, when he meets Lexi, of course he wonders why all the males in her pack avoid her.

The story should have really started when he met Lexi. After that the avalanche happens, and things really start to pick up. Lexi, on the other hand, is the cool ice princess to his inner surfer boy. An inability to shift has ensure d that she’ll never have a family because in this universe female werewolves can only get pregnant in werewolf form. She’s resigned to a life of never getting to have sex with a werewolf. Trystan, naturally, doesn’t care that she’s not a proper werewolf, and decides he wants to screw her brains out anyway despite her protests.

The sex scenes were explicit, and the very last one served no purpose. Beyond that, if there was one more adjective attached to his penis, I would have puzzled out a way to throw an electronic book across the room. Less is more, believe it or not.

The bad guy was completely predictable, and the plot itself seemed to have taken a cue from Underworld.  Ladies and gentlemen, Sven the Nord, as depicted by Bethesda Game Studios.

Moon Kissed

This book was even more problematic, but it was an earlier book, so I assume that means she was making progress. Bella is a webdesigner, but she never seems to actually do any work. She has a luxury apartment with a heated outdoor pool, has enough money to fund her dance lessons, and yet she never seems to do any work. It’s like Hauf googled “stay at home jobs” and picked the first one that popped up. I mean, if she would have been a software developer, and her software was something people didn’t know how they lived without, that would make more sense.

Her boyfriend, Severo, does something loosely with real estate. He somehow owns a mansion, but we never actually get to see what he does either. Again, it seems to be a randomly picked job by how much money he could possibly make from it.

There is no plot. At least not a well-developed one. Mostly it was just sex. Better written sex than what was presented in Forever Werewolf. Bella is on the run one night from a group of vampires and is rescued by the hero who then proceeds to grope her and pinch her nipple. And this is supposed to be her future soul mate. Not really buying it. Show of hands: who had their nipples pinched by a stranger who turned out to be their soulmate? I’m actually curious as to whether or not this is a real phenomenon.

Evil vampriss Evie (which cracks me up, because I have a coworker named Evie who is anything but), decides that she is going to date the heroine’s best friend, kill him to get to the heroine thus getting to the hero. Except this plan makes about as much sense as flashing your titties at an alligator, because she set this plan in motion long before the hero met the heroine. Did she have a fortune teller that allowed her to know these two were destined to be soulmates? This was never well-defined.

Beyond that, there is one thing Michele Hauf definitely needs to stop doing. She needs to stop using attempted gang rape as trauma for the heroine so that the hero can rescue her. I don’t think I need to explain why such a trope is problematic; however, this plot device was used in both books, and it didn’t get any easier to read the second time.

This book reads as a gas bubble.

View all my reviews

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